The events of this past summer surrounding the death of George Floyd have been difficult.  George Floyd’s death took center stage because there was such chilling video of it, but in the past few months, there have been a number of other black people who have died under unfortunate and potentially racist circumstances. The deaths of black people are still relatively rare compared to the daily challenges black people go through. The situation with George Floyd was just the tip of the iceberg but it brought to light the many daily challenges people with black skin go through.

People often think racism is a conscious overt act, like calling someone a derogatory name or treating them badly, but racism is so much more than that. Whether we know it or not, we all have unconscious biases. Even people who don't think that they're racist can act in a way that is racist. That isn't just white people; it's anybody. People also get defensive because they think their white privilege somehow makes them complicit, but that's not what white privilege is. White privilege is the fact that life is easier for a person because of the color of their skin.

For example, I can be a very passionate person but if I respond loudly at work that can been seen as aggressive, whereas my white colleagues who respond the same way are just seen as excited.  I have friends who've been pulled over by the police simply because they happen to be in an affluent neighborhood, and didn't look like they belonged. They look suspicious to the police. A lot of black parents have “the talk” with their kids about police: don't argue, put your hands on the dashboard, calmly ask if you can move to get your wallet. It adds a layer of stress to daily life. I always have to check to make sure I'm behaving in a way society deems acceptable for somebody who looks like me.

I'm not really afraid for myself, partly because my city is predominantly white. There's very few black people, and I don't think we're really perceived as a threat. My fear revolves more around my children. I wonder how they will be treated when they are older? At four and six years old, they’re old enough to have some understanding. My wife and I went back and forth on whether to talk with them about the situation, and we decided not to. I want them to be innocent just a little bit longer.

Any discussions we've had on race centered on the fact that we are interracial family. Our children observe that I have dark skin and mom has very light skin and they're in between. As innocent children do, they ask about skin color.  We just explain to them this is how God made us. We have different skin color, but all skin is beautiful and everybody's beautiful, and they understand that. Fortunately they haven't had any negative experiences that I'm aware of, although I'm always watching for that because it's just ingrained in society. Many studies have shown that children with dark skin somehow learn that they are not as good as other children.

I can rationalize when it happens at work or in daily life by saying, “okay, well, this is just the world we live in,” but it's particularly saddening when I go to meeting or gatherings or study days and things happen which compromise our sense of safety or sense of community. Brothers and sisters are supposed to be a family and a comfort to each other, but it doesn’t always feel that way. Both online and in person there tends to be two camps within our community of faith. One group really empathizes with the situation and realizes the limits of their own experience.  Another group tends to focus on the politicized nature of the events and has a “we are not supposed to be involved in politics so this really doesn't concern us” approach. How could they possibly understand if they have never been stopped by the police, never had a security guard follow them, never been asked where they're from, never been subjected to a racial slur, never had the police called on them because somebody thought they looked suspicious or any one of a million other things?

What I would like our faith community to understand is that there are brothers and sisters within the community that experience these things every single day. It becomes a barrier to their faith and worship. I've heard many stories where a brother or sister of color joins a meeting and they're kind of left out of events. They feel isolated. When you go through that every day of the week and then you show up on a Sunday and it still happens in a place where we profess to understand God, that can be particularly devastating.

If somebody has a family and they lose a loved one, everybody reaches out because we understand that they are feeling sore.  So let's do the same thing with this, because brothers and sisters of color are also feeling sore. Start by asking “what can we do to help? How can we support you?”  Let them know they are loved and supported.  If you know that a particular brother or sister is working two or three jobs to make ends meet and they're exhausted, offer them a ride to meeting or go over and break bread with them. James said “if we see our brother or sister in need, and we say, ‘go in peace’” but don’t actually do anything, then we don't really have God's love in us.   God's love requires action on our part. We should be willing to help to the point that we're sacrificing something of ourselves. It could be time.  It could be money. It could be anything to help that brother and sister.

To listen to the full interview with Larry and Helen please check out A Little Faith podcasts.