When we use or hear the word “despise”, we generally understand that a very negative feeling is being conveyed. Dictionaries call it “contempt or a deep repugnance”, or “scorn”, or “look down on with disrespect or aversion”. A very strong word in English.

You’ll probably remember this verse:

…looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2)

He despised the shame of being wrongly convicted, beaten, then hung on a stake naked. Did he have contempt for the shame? Repugnance? Aversion? None of those really seem to fit very well. When we go to lexicons of New Testament Greek, we find that our normal understanding of the English word is the reason.

The Greek word is actually much milder. It conveys “disesteem”, or “think little or nothing of”, or “think slightly of”. Now how do we understand the passage in Hebrews? Jesus endured the crucifixion, and part of it was thinking nothing of the shame. The shame didn’t matter. Why? Because of the joy that was to come.

At times, someone will try to shame us for our faith. They may look down on us, “despise” us—maybe in the sense of thinking slightly of us, or maybe the stronger sense of scorn. When it happens, how do we react? Do we feel ashamed? Or do we follow the example of Jesus and simply not care about the shame, because of the joy to come?

Jesus uses the same word in this well-known teaching:

“No servant can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.” (Luke 16:13)

Notice: The two sets of attitudes are not opposites. It’s not “hate one or hate the other, love one or love the other.” He uses different words, and he must mean for us to notice. He sets up a parallel, I think. He’s talking about attitudes toward God and money—in that order. God is “the one” and money is “the other”. So: We will either hate God and love money, or we will be devoted to God and despise money. Our attitude toward money, Jesus says, will either be love—the familiar agape, to highly esteem—or despise, think slightly of it.

How about our attitude toward God? Jesus says it will be either hate—a strong word, meaning to detest—or devotion, meaning to hold fast. This is kind of shocking, which I believe Jesus intended it to be. We would never say we detest God! But that’s what we do, if we love money. Holding fast to God means putting very little value on money. Not me saying this—it’s Jesus: We have to make a choice, because we can’t serve both.

We are called to think of ourselves as “crucified with Christ” (Galatians 2:20 and others). That includes despising, thinking nothing of, the shaming we might encounter. We are called to be devoted to God, and that includes thinking nothing of material wealth.

What should we not despise? God’s mercy and grace, which we do if we don’t change our ways. (Romans 2:4) Others in the church, which we do if we flaunt what we have and shame those who have less. (1 Corinthians 11:22) Employers who are fellow believers, which we do if we give them less than complete service. (1 Timothy 6:2) All of these use the same Greek word, although English translations vary.

What else should we despise? Nothing else, as far as we’re told. The opposite of love is not hate, it is despising. We’re told to love a lot: God, Jesus, brothers and sisters in Christ, our neighbors, even our enemies. If we’re doing as much loving as we’re told to, there will be room for very little despising.

Love (with great esteem), Paul