Part 2

Isolation in the ecclesia

Previously published in the CIL Magazine

Tips for parents

• Don’t feel like you’ve failed in some way if you arrive late, leave early, or end up listening at home.  You know your children well – you know what’s achievable, and where you need to be in order to get the most out of the talks.

• If you have access to wider ecclesial family events, then go to some.  You probably can’t attend so many evening events at your own ecclesia so look for ones elsewhere that take place on Saturday afternoons, or during school holidays.  If you can’t afford Bible schools, you can consider being a day visitor instead.  It is often easier for children to be looked after by babysitters during the day than in the evening, so maybe you can go to some events without bringing the children along.

• Don’t assume that people know how to help you and what support you need.  Consider asking them to do some of the suggestions below…

Tips for the ecclesia

• If you have a separate space for parents to sit, make sure the talk, announcements, prayers and hymns can all be heard clearly.  If you don’t have a separate area, then perhaps set up a rota of people who will take babies and toddlers out for pram rides, or walks round the block.

• Communicate ecclesial news – e.g., by email or text – as announcements during the breaking of bread may be missed. It really gave me a boost when people took the time to include me, and it gave me the opportunity to contribute where I could, e.g., by sending cards to people who were ill.

• Buy some baby-safe toys for the children to play with during the meeting.

• Offer to sit in the back room with the parent.  Company like this has been so valuable to me, and is a tangible reason for me to keep coming week after week.  You don’t have to be good with children to do it – even just sitting there is a lovely gesture that helps the parent to feel less isolated.

• Offer to keep an eye on a toddler after the meeting has finished, so that the parent doesn’t need to follow them around, but can have some meaningful conversations instead.  Or, if the toddler is going through a shy phase and wants to walk everywhere holding the parent’s hand, then be prepared to follow them both around while you talk to the parent!

• Parents can feel like they are causing problems for everyone else – they turn up late, their children make noise and leave a mess behind…  Double your efforts to make them and their children feel welcome and wanted.  

- Rebekah Lewis, U.K.

Download Coping with Isolation As A Parent here.