Taking Back the Remote Control
January 24, 2011
Dear Friends,
Did you ever hear someone say something such as “this person made me so mad?” If you are like me, you have said it a hundred times and felt it a thousand times. “This guy pulled out in front of me in his car and made me so mad.” “My teacher asked me this question in front of everyone and made me feel so stupid.” “My friend told me they didn’t like my haircut and got me so upset.” How strange it is that we sincerely believe that other people have control over us.
People are so funny that we even externalize these things to inanimate objects. Have you ever done something like accidentally hit your finger with the hammer and yell “stupid hammer?” It is as if the hammer just had a little more intelligence it would have jumped out of our guiding hand and missed our finger which it evidently was just too stupid to do. If we had only had the smart hammer, everything would be OK and we wouldn’t have lost our temper. The hammer made us lose our temper. Stupid hammer.
Notice, in everyone one of the above examples, we are pushing the ownership for our own emotions on someone else or something else. They have the control. We are just innocent victims who have no control over the situation. Who are we to stand in the face of such powerful people (and hammers)?
Consider how destructive this is when we give other people the power over our emotions. How can we possibly be victors in Christ when God has given the remote control of our lives to other people and inanimate objects? Click – they make us mad. Click – they steal our joy. Click – they cause us to say inappropriate things. Click – they made us depressed. Click – they made us worry. We sincerely believe that we cannot possibly exhibit the fruit of the spirit such as love, joy, peace because someone else is holding our remote. This can truly be debilitating. We lose control over our emotions, our spiritual lives and our thoughts. When we make ourselves the victims who have no control, we think it will make us feel better because we really “couldn’t help it.” The exact opposite is true. We end up have a victim’s mentality where we are simply at the mercy of random events and mean people. What an utterly depressing thought!
The truth of the matter is that we are the sole master of our emotions. No one can steal our love, joy and peace unless we allow it. Jesus said “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” (Matt. 5:44) Why would Jesus say this is they truly had the remote control to your life? What this tells us is that it is possible – make that expected – that when people do bad things to us we will return blessing for cursing, good for evil, smiles for gritted teeth.
How do we do this? The first step is to accept 100% responsibility for what we say, do and think. No more excuses. When you arrive at work in a bad mood because there was a traffic jam on the ride in, realize how silly it is to allow traffic congestion to steal our joy. When a friend lies to you and you are getting angry, salve your anger by thinking of the many times you have lied in your life (and if you say you have never lied, well that is a whopper in itself, isn’t it?). This is such an empowering thought to know that you have the power over your thoughts, actions, speech and emotions.
The second thing we can do is to understand that behind each negative emotion is a lie of some sort. This is that deceitful heart of Jer. 17:9. The deceitful heart is the only thing that can steal the fruit of the spirit from us – the ONLY thing. When we are not feeling love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness or temperance, we don’t have to look any further than our own hearts for the culprit. Figure out the lie and you can solve the problem by believing the truth.
The third thing you can do is realize that a loving heavenly Father has promised you to watch over you and protect you. Everything coming your way is good – even the trials. God is making you a better person or helping someone else through you. If you trust that this is true, you will receive “the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:7) Your life is not a series of random events but a carefully orchestrated symphony with God as the conductor. His goal in this symphony is to give you exactly what you need whether blessing or trial to make you all that you can be and should be. Each day is full of God’s gifts all of which are good if we see them properly through this lens. You have everything you need right now to live a joyful, prosperous, contented, peaceful and love-filled life if you will only believe it.
Friends, it’s time for us to take back the remote control.
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.(Phil. 4:8)
Have a great week,
Comments»
This is part of the lie from the beginning. Isn’t this exactly what Adam and Eve did? It was not their fault. For Adam it was God’s fault – that woman you gave me. For Eve it was the serpent.
It is most helpful to understand that, if we choose, we can be in control of our emotions. Lots of work until we get the hang of it, but well worth the effort.