Only In the Lord
August 18, 2010
Dear Friends,
From time to time we print articles submitted by others. In this case, this Thought for the Week is submitted by Carol & Bruce Malczewski on a website called ChristadelphianSingles.org for people looking for mates in the faith. I appreciate practical solutions to nagging problems. Here is their article.
Marriage in the Lord” is highly prized in the Christadelphian world. However, the very composition of our community challenges that ideal: worldwide we are a sparsely populated community often congregated in small isolated groups that inhibits finding marriage partners.
Recently a brother with whom I was corresponding underscored the dilemma faced by many single Christadelphians. He wrote “as we seek a marriage partner we’re confronted with the admonition from Paul: ‘be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers’ (2 Corinthians 6:1). We therefore must marry ‘only in the Lord’ (1 Corinthians 7:39). The plight of this single brother is not uncommon among Christadelphians. For instance, they may be the sole single member in their ecclesia, or be part of an ecclesia composed only of their own family members and relatives. They could be a new member who joined our community late in life but find no eligible peers available, or a single-parent widow or widower attempting the daunting task of balancing family, ecclesia, work and searching for another help-meet. Many such Christadelphian singles languish for spiritual soul mates with whom to share their lives and their walk in the Faith.
Below the surface in many ecclesiae is a troubling shadow many of us recognize, but few of us have solutions for. We refer specifically to the problem of marrying outside of the faith. Although some singles hold to the apostle Paul’s admonition and remain unmarried, others, out of frustration and discouragement, yield to marriage with an unbeliever. Unfortunately, they may not only be risking their own salvation but also that of their children. Two close sister-friends, who both married “out of the Lord”, hope their personal “confessions” will give those embarking on the same journey pause for reconsideration. One confided, “I married a man who is a wonderful husband and father but if I had it to do over again I wouldn’t marry him-I sacrificed my children.” None of her children has embraced the Way and she herself has divided loyalties. The second sister, candidly reflecting on her forty-year marriage, disclosed, “There were no eligible brothers in our meeting when I was young. I have ended up with a partner who comes from a very religious family and who has always been supportive, but because I know that I may have to turn my back on him eventually if the Lord returns before we die, I can’t give him ALL my love as I could to a partner in the Truth. This is a sad reality for me. I always have hope that my husband will change and come to love the Lord as I do but as we both come nearer to the final years of our lives, hope fades. It is also better for the children if both partners are in the Truth. I wish I could have given my children the experience of a united family.” The same sister added, “The lack of conversation centered on the Truth is like living in a dry, dusty desert with long stretches between rainfalls of the Word of God.” The day-to-day affects of sharing life with an unbeliever can be spiritually wearing, slowly eroding faith.
In view of geographic disbursement, isolation, and the lack of contact with marriageable peers, single brethren and sisters around the world need our love, our encouragement, and our practical assistance in helping them to find Christadelphian partners as they walk kingdomward.
A recent initiation introduced by a team of North American brothers and sisters may prove helpful. A web site with the appellation “Christadelphian Introduction Service” has recently made itself available to the worldwide brotherhood and can be found at www.christadelphiansingles.org. This initiation not only may perform a great service to those who yearn for faith-sharing spouses but also may be a means of strengthening the household of faith in preparation for our Lord’s return.
Have a great week,
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