Matthew 18: By the Book
September 7, 2009
Dear Friends,
The Scriptures provide a sequenced account of how to go about recovering a wayward brother or sister. We usually call this following “Matthew 18″ from the chapter in which we find this protocol. The chapter has a lot more in it that these few verses, but nevertheless, the chapter has lent its name to the process of recovery.
To be brutally honest, a faithful adherence to both the principles and practice of Matthew 18 among us is about as rare as a T-bone steak cooked on a pack of matches. We might do it right from time to time, but more times than not, we tend to make a total botch of it; that is, if we do it at all. These simple instructions provide us with an amazingly effective tool for ecclesial administration, discipline and lost sheep recovery, but we find it extraordinarily hard to do this well because we either don’t know what we are trying to accomplish by following it or simply dismiss the steps as “optional” or interchangeable with human traditions.
What we hope to share here is both the principle as well as the practice. If followed faithfully, Matthew 18 can save lives and ecclesias. As has been proven time and time again, when not followed faithfully, disaster can occur.
The context of these verses helps to understand them. Let’s do a quick recap of the chapter on which we will elaborate later:
- Verses 1-2 – A call for humility and not seeking to “be the greatest.” How many times has an attempt to recover someone been thwarted by genuine (as opposed to perceived) arrogance.
- Verses 5-9 – A warning against those who cause “little ones” (i.e. brethren susceptible to negative influence) to stumble. We will show that this is both a warning to those bringing in false doctrine or lowering moral standards as well as to elders who abuse their authority over brethren.
- Verses 10-14 – The parable of the lost sheep comes next where the main point is that God is “not willing that ANY of these little ones should be lost.” Following Matthew 18 is not optional.
- Verses 15-20 – The steps to recover your brother along with a warning to ecclesial elders not to abuse their authority.
- Verses 21-35 – The parable of the unmerciful servant in which we are commanded to forgive from the heart or warned we will face the consequences.
Let’s take a look at the verses themselves.
If your brother sins [against you], go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector. (Matt. 18:15-17 NIV)
The most basic principle of Matthew 18 is that it is set in place to accomplish two tasks: 1) recover an erring brother or sister. 2) keep the error – either doctrinal or moral – from spreading within the ecclesia. It is amazing how many ecclesias go through (or some semblance thereof) these steps without knowing WHY they are going through these steps. Probably the most common error in principle, although we loathe admitting it, is that we do it just because God said to do it. This is one reason why we are not so concerned about adhering to the process - because we really don’t understand why God put the process in place in the first place. Blind obedience is commendable as in when Abraham obeyed God in the near sacrifice of his son, Isaac. However, as Israel showed time after time, obedience with understanding is always preferable and just going through the motions can be harmful.
Lord willing, we will pick up here next week.
Have a great week,
Comments»
I agree with you that one of the major reasons Matt 18 isn’t followed is that folks don’t understand why God commanded his children to follow that procedure. There are a number of good reasons, but I think most of them have to do with keeping the matter as small as possible, for as long as possible. This benefits the erring brother or sister, who gets a chance to correct their erring ways while maintaining as much dignity and privacy as possible, not to mention any other innocent parties involved. This may seem to give too much to someone who has done wrong, but practically speaking if the bro/sis has done something wrong there is probably pride involved somewhere, and wider exposure often causes that pride to increase and something that maybe could have been handled quietly over a cup of coffee brews into a much bigger mess. So keeping the matter small prevents it from escalating into a much bigger deal.
I think almost of us would prefer that we were approached privately by 1 or 2 brothers or sisters, rather than being haled in front of the ABs and/or having the whole congregation all of a sudden know what we’ve done. So the “do unto others” rule also applies.
i think once again your hitting a soft spot that needs to be hit! Math 18 is SO hard to follow because when my brother sins against me, i want him to suffer! Note that “against you” isn’t really there, the point is “when your brother sins”. Still, we just love to be better than everyone else. We are the 99 wandering lost in the wilderness thinking were doing just fine, the shepherd went out to find the one that said “i’m lost”, and brought him to his home. We spend so much time being critical because “we have the truth” and so we must protect it, and our little ones, and our ecclesia from those who “err”, cause if THEY had the truth, they wouldn’t have err’d – like the elder brother in the prodigal son story. Math 18 clearly doesn’t work in “organized churches” cause it doesn’t make a clear example that wrong is wrong. but then Jesus didn’t go looking for the 99 did he? he came to find “the lost sheep of Israel” he makes it clear he didn’t come to save everyone – but those who were willing to eat the scraps fallen from the masters table. We who are saved by our knowledge don’t need to follow Math 18, because we are not worried about saving sinner, but in keeping our church pure “first pure then peaceable”. Math 18 is about saving sinners, and that’s not really something we want to dirty our hands with, or threaten our ecclesias with.
I am glad you have decided to talk about this subject. I have read and reread Matthew 18 over the past few years trying to figure it all out. The question I can’t seem to get answered is: (and this is all about me… not a made-up or hypothetical scenario) If I am the one who is perceived as the sinner and I have been excluded from the table of the Lord in certain ecclesias and bible schools… why have none of these brothers/sisters approached me in the spirit of Matthew 18? There has been absolutely no one who has tried to “restore” me. Am I not considered a sister? Am I not considered a “lost sheep?” The restoration of me and my family (I have three young children) has involved a few hateful letters being written to us and our ecclesia. I have “heard” that some regret past actions that were taken… yet no one has approached me directly on these matters. I continue to pray daily for direction and I search the Scriptures for answers. The one shining light in all of this is I know my God still loves me and is working in my life to direct me on the path to his the Kingdom.
Marria, Ken, et. al,
It looks like more than a few have noticed that we aren’t doing Matthew 18 right.
This series is going to be a long one. I plan on addressing all of these issues plus some more. Just wanted to let you know I wouldn’t be responding via the blog unless it is something there are no plans to address.
Sorry to make you wait! :-)
Kyle and others,
There is also the issue of confessing our faults to each other – ‘secrecy’ may seem appealing but is it always scriptural? God didn’t keep David’s sin secret.
Dear Philip. It’s amazing the entire fiasco with David! i’ve heard of Christadelphians that refuse to accept David can be forgiven: one i quote “maybe God will forgive David, but i certainly won’t”. What i also find interesting is that Joab isn’t all that happy with David’s work, but he still follows the King’s order to have Uriah murdered.2 Sam 11:21 “when David says ‘why did you get so close to the wall’ Joab told them to say ‘So Uriah would be killed, as per your order’” -KP. When David was found with Bathsheba so soon after, and her pregnant too soon after, Joab’s rather blunt “code” would become very obvious to all in the army that this was as per David’s plan. This is something we can do very easily in our ecclesias, follow along wrong and even be involved because it’s the decision of our ecclesias. Sometimes we need to become as unpopular as Christ to be Christlike – even in our own ecclesia. Wrong is wrong, and when we see our brothers and sisters being ill treated, we need to be involved no matter how hard it is for us. Like Queen Esther, maybe we were put in the situation for this very purpose!
Bro. Philip, i don’t want to confess my faults to people who are better than me, and treat me with disdain. I don’t want to confess my faults when they are so bad that people think i need mental help, i’m ‘sick’ or should be locked up. I don’t want to confess my faults to people i barely know “beloved brothers and sisters in our Lord Jesus Christ” or not. Being the kind of person others confess their faults too is extremely difficult in our community, because it involves humility and admitting that you are also a pretty lousy Christadelphian, a sinner, and are able to bear hearing things that just aren’t very Christ like without freaking out and demanding disfellowship. It also requires a reputation for discretion, and a pretty good dose of likeableness. Sometimes we don’t seek help within our community, because well, there just isn’t anyone available who we are comfortable enough with to confess too.
know what i mean?
I think one of the reasons we so often fail at following the guidelines given to us in Matthew 18 is because we misunderstand the very ending of the process.
vs 17 (NIV) “If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”
I was always confused by the conclusion we came to after this verse. How is it that after all of these steps we are just supposed to write off our brother or sister, treating them like a pagan or a tax collector, more or less just giving up on them? I recently read verse 17 in a different translation (the message) and was astounded.
“If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.”
I’m not sure where we got that idea, that treating someone like a pagan or a tax collector meant giving up on them. Jesus didn’t just abandon people because of the labels of tax collector or pagan, he often gave special attention to those who were struggling, on the fringe of society. Jesus is referred to as a friend of the tax collectors, there are accounts of him eating with the tax collectors. Matthew, one of the twelve apostles was even a tax collector.
The rest of the chapter even goes on to discuss sincere forgiveness from the heart. What a difference it would make in our community if when we got to the end of verse 17 we really did treat our struggling loved one as jesus treated the pagans and tax collectors, earnestly trying to bring the affective healing gospel message to their broken lives.