Walking on By: Survey Results – Part 4
April 1, 2008
Dear Friends,
Our final question was “If you find YOURSELF not getting involved, what is the main factor for your ‘walking by?’” Again, we have posted the comments for this question here. The results broke down as follows:
- Fear of the Jews (fear of what others might do, say or think of me) – 7.2%
- I don’t care enough to get involved – 2.1%
- Too many problems of my own, just trying to keep my head above water – 8.7%
- Don’t feel qualified or able to offer any substantial help, others better able – 19.7%
- I am too busy, too tired or too stressed – 9.4%
- Most times people get what they deserve – 0.0%
- I think we shoujld mind our own business – 2.1%
- I have no idea of what others people’s issues are so I can’t get involved – 8.0%
- No Responses – 15.3%
- Other – 27.0%
This is one of those questions where I tried to anticipate what the respondents would say and feel. At least 27% felt none of the answers I gave captured their feelings on why they walked on by. The biggest answer I failed to anticipate is an “I do not walk on by” response. Here are a few of the “other” reasons given:
- Constructive assistance is rejected.
- Not always sure of who is right. Hard time judging others motives.
- I do get involved and do what I can to help and pray everyday.
- Lack of rapport with a particular member.
- It won’t change a thing.
- Don’t know where to start.
- I have no good excuse.
- Too many Christadelphians who need help.
- Prevented from getting involved by others.
- Age and lack of energy.
I believe there are times when it is appropriate to not get deeply involved. Let me summarize a few of them.
- Sometimes other people are better able to help people than ourselves. If possible, though, get those “right” people involved. If all we do is get the right people involved, we are performing a valuable service.
- You can’t make people accept your help. Sometimes all we can do is to let people know we love them and are willing to help them. If circumstances permit, check in from time to time to see if the situation has changed. Sometimes it is only a matter of timing.
- You need to know your strengths. Sometimes when a person is injured in an accident, a well- intentioned person comes along with no real skill in first-aid and does more harm than good by doing things they have no business doing. Similarly, we need to know when we are way out of our element in spiritual things. Incredible harm has been inflicted by well-intentioned people who simply don’t know what they are doing.
I hope that this topic has inspired each of us to help where we can and to seek God’s wisdom and counsel in so doing. May God bless you in your efforts to serve Him by serving all people.
Have a great week,
Comments»
Kyle,
I would also NOT have anticipated the “I don’t walk by” responses. In my estimation, Christadelphia has quite a long and unfortunate history of attacking, or at least menacing and downright partisan behavior toward one another. I say this not to run us down as a body, but to encourage us all to learn from the mistakes of the past to do better in the present and future. We can only really move forward and grow if we know our own weeknesses and address them.
Some time ago, I borrowed a modern analogy for a similar lesson to what you are doing with “Walking On By.” A portion of it might keep the ball rolling…
In the final episodes of the famous sit-com “Seinfeld”, Jerry and the gang witness a mugging. They stand by observing while the a man is robbed in broad daylight. Seemingly oblivious to the victim’s calls for their help, they make amusing comments to one another about the event, but do nothing to help. Later they are arrested and tried under the local “Good Samaritan Law”; their history of callous, unkind, and outrageous New York City behavior is reviewed before the court. Eventually they are all sentenced to years in prison for their crimes–criminal indifference, negligence, failure to act, and gross inattention.
In my opinion, I see our own tendency toward “criminal indifference” or “gross inatention” as a real problem. I see other brothers “get mugged,” slandered, or misrepresented frequently, but rarely is there any kind of intervention, even in some of the most obvious cases. I myself am equally guilty of this, being by nature somewhat unempathetic. Being on the other side, however, has taught me to sit up and notice a little more–even vow to get involved whenever possible.
Our tendency to be “criminally indifferent,” or its related problem “the fear of the Jews” is a sad state of affairs, and one I hope we can all resolve to do better with. In a way I have come to envy firefighters and military men who talk about their “brothers” in their squad and how they sacrifice and die for one another in their efforts and conflicts, wishing we had that kind of bond in our brotherhood in Christ. Just think how much better our body would really be if we all REALLY had each others’ backs with complete trust, encouragement and support! We can do better.
Paul
I wanted to highlight two very notable things the Good Samaritan does.
after doing what he can, he takes the man to a place where he can recover, then leaves. So many of our excuses are related to ME yet, after an initial assessment the Samaritan recognizes that he is not the one to stay with the man during his recovery, but rather leaves that to the Inn keeper, and goes on his way.
the man offers to pay the inn for their continued care for the man. Far too often, people who have the resources don’t have the time, and those with time, don’t have the resources. In this case, the Samaritan was not suited to provide the long term care needed by the injured man, he doesn’t expect the Inn to bear the cost, nor does he expect the injured man to come up with the money, his help is done quietly in the background. In my experience, we too often want to know what everyone else is doing before getting involved, yet, what we could be doing is starting the process, and letting others come on board by our example. When the man recovers, it’s up to him to tell the Inn keeper, “no need to trouble my rescuer, i have the money to pay you”, it’s up to the inn keeper to tell the Samaritan “no need, you’ve done your part, we’ll see the man is restored to health.” This part of the parable remains untold, because Jesus isn’t interested in what Everybody else is doing – he is interested in what we ourselves do or don’t do.
There is no indication the injured man learned who his rescuer was. The Samaritan wasn’t looking for an opportunity to help either – he had places to go, people to see. He stopped, went out of his way to help, gave what he could in the time he had, then left the rest to others more suitable. His help was timely, he wasn’t looking for thanks from men, thus, he receives his reward from Christ.
As Christadelphians we stand out as being particularly uncaring – we compare very badly with many other groups.
My wife was Catholic when we met. She readily saw the truth of Christadelphian doctrine as it’s sound and Bible based so was baptised. But she is to this day appalled at our overall attitudes compared with what she was used to. It sometimes makes her cry in sadness when she sees someone targeted even when she does not know them. If someone stumbles we are attacked as if by a swarm of wasps and it takes REAL faith to stay within Christadelphia. It’s a constant reminder that it’s Christ we aspire to – not Christadelphians.
Yesterday I found that my neighbour’s 4 year old daughter had been diagnosed with leukemia and in some shock mentioned it to a friend who is a charismatic Christian. His and his wife’s response was instant. They don’t know her but immediately asked for her name so they could get their church’s “prayer ring” working on the case. They simply pass the message on and each member prays and passes on the message – they actually have a system for this. If they get the request in by 6:30pm each day, the whole group passes it around to each other. Unreal!
My sincere regret and experience is that we do it differently. When someone has a problem, especially with faith, the claws come out and the person is victimised and shunned. When they lie bleeding most walk on by. It’s a horrible fact.
That said, the wonderful Samaritans among us really count more than they probably know. And I sincerely hope that Kyle’s postings help us to be encouraged and to BE that sort of person. Just to care, smile and hug is a huge thing to do. That heals deep wounds and takes no professional qualifications.
This is very true I’ve only been in the truth a little over 4(four) years and was shocked at the way our community does to each other ! Like I said I’ve only been around a short while but instead of getting better it’s getting worse I guess I could quote scripture to show how it’s suppose to be but my Bros. & Sis. already know them but for some reason they don’t apply to them or have a way of rationalizing that’s remarkable to say the least.
Mike Kline Arkansas
Mike, I’m so sad to hear this. But remember that we’re all just people and what some do is NOT Christ’s way. Even when the negative people have the “power” to discourage or even to “disfellowship”. In fact “especially” so.
Can we turn it around though?
Can we keep a careful eye out for those that are vilified and sidelined and reach out in lots of love to them? Rom 8:28 says “…all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose”. So if we are hurt we can think “wow – that hurt – wonder how I can help someone else that might not be able to stand the impact?” That way we can USE the hurt and vilification to strengthen and build!
I have a bit of an idea I may use here. Pick an evening when not much is on (like Bible Classes etc) and have an “open door” for the readings. Start up the bar-be-que and anyone can come and use it (or not) then share the readings in a very relaxed way. Bro/sisters, anyone feeling low and sad – or so happy they need to share. Neighbours and friends too. I have no real idea how it might go but joy has a place to start.
Jesus pointed the finger, not at the “sinners”, but at the “righteous”. He built the sinners up and often forgave so as to turn them around. Of the “righteous” He was often scathing. He had no-where to go with them as they were not fruitful ground.
Hey Mike… Here’s a hug. HHHHUUUUGGGG! Hope that helped!
Colin Green Sydney, Australia
Bro. Mike,
Also in the spirit of Br. Colin’s HUUG, to let you know that such an environment need not be so, even in your neck of the woods! I believe I live only a few miles from you. Now, I am not a believer in leaving one place to try and find utopia elsewhere – as Colin says, we’re all just people – but the spirit is as important as the truth, and if we’re discouraged by the absence of either one, we either have to encourage growth where we are, or find somewhere where both spirit and truth exist and can encourage us in our plight.
I’m of the Good Hope Ecclesia of central Arkansas, and it is our hope to be a place where people can support each other through our journeys towards God’s Kingdom, and to teach our children about His wonderful plan! Check us out at http://www.goodhopeecclesia.com. It pains me to see folks like yourself discouraged by the goings-on around them. We’d love to encourage you and to have you encourage us! We’re far from perfect, but we’re trying…
Much love to you!
Dyron