Walking on By: Survey Results – Part 2
March 17, 2008
Dear Friends,
Our second question was “How good of a job do you think we do responding to the needs of those inside of the body?” We have posted the comments for this question on the TFTW blog at this link. The results broke down as follows:
- People answering “Excellent” – 8%
- People answering “Above Average” – 24%
- People answering “Average” – 36.4%
- People answering “Below Average” – 25.5%
- People answering “Pitiful” – 2.1%
- People answering with “No Response” – 3.6%
The respondents felt that we did a much better job responding to the needs within the body as opposed to those without the body with the majority (68%) believing that we do average or better. Scripturally speaking, we should do more for those within the household. We are told by the Apostle Paul “As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.” (Gal. 6:10) There is an added emphasis to doing good to the household without detracting from doing good to those without. We would hope that we would achieve excellence for doing good for both.
I would offer there are a few key points to being able to help those within the body. 1) Identifying the need, 2) Being prepared to help and 3) Knowing when you can’t help.
1) Identifying the Need: One of the keys to identifying a person in need of helping is having relationships with people. One sister wrote in and said:
The cultivating of the relationships within the body (I found) was crucial. If you have not cultivated the relationships with your Brothers and Sisters, how are you going to know when there is a need? How will you know how to help or pray for them? How will you be able to go to them as a loving Brother or Sister if they are falling away when you didn’t care enough about them while they were still in the Meeting?”
Many times I think we “walk on by” not because we don’t want to help, but because we are ignorant of the need. All too often we are oblivious to the need because we are too wrapped up in our own problems, our pursuit of the things of this world or a hands-off approach to Christianity. Once that problem becomes acute in that person’s life, if we do not have a relationship with them already, we are more than likely going to be hampered in our efforts to help. Good personal relationships in our ecclesias are not simply a vital factor in smooth ecclesial operations, but they are critical for allowing us to be servants to one another in our time of need.
2) Being prepared to help. Sometimes we know a person is in need of help, but we are not in a position to help. Offering assistance to those in need of mental or spiritual problems is a lot like offering first aid for people with physical injuries; if you don’t know what you are doing or are not prepared you can cause more harm than good. If we have a reputation for gossip, for example, the person we try to help may avoid confiding in us because they believe they can’t trust us. We also might not be able to help if we are not showing in our lives that we have overcome our own obstacles. It is a tragedy when those in need ask for a fish and are given a serpent instead.
Helping people starts now in building relationships, getting our own house in order and preparing ourselves to offer help that truly does help and not hurt.
I am reminded of a situation in which a sister went to three brethren in a time of crisis looking for advice. Only one of the three gave her Scriptural advice and brought God into the equation. If we truly believe that God has given us the instruction manual for life in the Scriptures, it is criminal malpractice as believers to ignore it when our brethren come to us for help. This implies that we must be very conversant and skilled with the Bible in advance. You can’t use it if you are unfamiliar with its content.
3) Knowing when you can’t help. Sometimes we can’t help as we are not qualified or equipped to help. This doesn’t necessarily give us license to walk on by. Even though we may rightly discern that we are over our heads, maybe the service we can perform is helping the person to get to the right person or organization to help. People generally want to know that you care and can be pretty forgiving if we are trying but are unable to help them. What they tend not to forget is when we don’t try, don’t care or don’t notice.
I want to make it clear that in choosing to help someone, you are not taking ownership of that person’s problem. One of the hardest lessons I have had to learn in the past few years is that you can’t help people who don’t want to be helped. You can love people, be there for them and give them top-notch, Biblical advice. In the end, though, people are going to do what they want to do and there is very little we can do to stop them. This can be enormously frustrating when we have invested in this person spiritually, emotionally, physically and perhaps even financially. We may feel like we have wasted our time. Don’t believe that for a minute and don’t despair. God is not asking us for a specific result. God is asking us to do the right thing regardless of result. Jesus didn’t save everyone and neither will we.
Have a great week,
