Success Lies—Self Esteem
May 22, 2006
Dear Friends
The Success Industry makes a lot of money by manipulating how we see ourselves. There are three aspects of how we are viewed that are relevant. The first is how God sees us. The Success Industry rarely works on this level. However, as we shall see, this is the most important level. The second and third levels are how others see us and how we see ourselves.
Let’s deal with how other people see us first. Unfortunately, this seems to be where the world puts most of its emphasis. Here is a quote from a popular Success Industry website telling us that if we buy their program, we can “develop a professional and prestigious business that will earn you respect and admiration within your community.†The assumption is, of course, that anyone would want to be admired because of the business they own. It seems to me that it is possible to be a complete reprobate and still run a “professional and prestigious†business. Simply scanning the business headlines for the latest corporate scandal can prove that fact.
People judge in the most arbitrary ways. They judge us by what car we drive, where we live, what school we went to, how we dress, who we know, what labels we have on our shirts, purses, shoes, pens, sunglasses, watches, etc. It is enough to drive you mad. Frankly, how people feel about us in these superficial ways is completely irrelevant at best and evil at worst. When we allow our perception of ourselves to be dictated by the opinions of others, this is guaranteed to be a losing proposition. Jesus himself couldn’t gain universal approval. In fact, he was so vilified by the people around him that the crowd chanted for his death.
Unfortunately, we can do the same thing to ourselves such that we either have an over inflated self-esteem or a feeling of worthlessness. Often, we are not good judges of character —especially when it comes to ourselves.
The key is to see ourselves as God sees us. First of all, this takes genuine humility to know that all of our value as humans comes from Him. Second, this involves getting a realistic view of ourselves in terms of godliness. Our value to God is not how wealthy, powerful, well-dressed, educated, good-looking, etc. Our value to God is directly related to how we respond to what He asks us to do in love. Finally, seeing ourselves as God sees us is understanding, even if only in a cursory way, the love and value that God placed on us when He gave His son for us on the cross. If there is ever an instance in which we are both exalted and humbled at the same time, surely it is the recognition of the crucifixion of Christ in a deeply personal way. When we can say with understanding that “He died for ME!†we see not only our sin in its bleakest, most awful light, but we see the exaltation of being loved in the most amazing way by the Creator of Heaven and Earth.
Why is how God sees us so important? Well, He knows us better than we know ourselves. He looks at our heart, not our outward appearance. Whereas we can deceive ourselves, we cannot deceive Him. More important though, the way God sees us is how we really are. It is also the way we will be judged. When we see ourselves as God sees us, we have an accurate picture that we can work on. If we continually see ourselves as garbage, we can’t possibly see the value of being one of God’s children or the heavenly places that He has raised us to in Christ. If we continually see ourselves as the cream of the crop and a notch or two above everyone else, we cannot possibly see that we are sinners too in need of God’s grace and mercy. When we see ourselves as we are, we can appreciate both God’s great love for us coupled with the constant need to improve and guard against sin. “For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly.†(Rom. 12:3)
The Success Industry and popular culture have changed us from the Biblical model of self-sacrifice to one of self-exaltation. All of what the Success Industry has taught us is evident in how the phrases about our “self†have changed in the past few years. Self-denial has been replaced with self-indulgence. Self-discipline, self sacrifice and self-control have been replaced with self-expression, self-justification and self-love. Jesus says “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.†(Matthew 16:24-25).
The bottom-line is God doesn’t have to accept us as we are despite the insistence of popular culture. We all have to change our ways to conform to His ways if we want to please Him. This involves getting an accurate picture of who we are —both our good and our bad points. We should not be overly concerned with our self-esteem as much as esteeming God and Jesus as worthy of praise and obedience as well as esteeming others better than ourselves. (Php. 2:3)
Have a great week,
P.S. Many requests have been made to print the TFTW in book form. Since this has been a community effort, I would like to make this book a community effort as well. If there is any particular TFTW that has touched you or that you would like to write a preface for, please contact Kyle Tucker. We will include some of these comments in the book, Lord willing.
