Bestowing Honor on the Woman – Part 2
April 17, 2005
Dear Friends:
This week we wanted to speak to the men specifically about the objectification of women.
First of all, men, it all starts with the eyes. You think there is nothing wrong with taking a nice long, lustful look at that beautiful woman (or even a picture of a beautiful woman)? Think again! The Bible says “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality…” (Eph. 5:3 NIV) We are told in the Proverbs “My son, give me your heart and LET YOUR EYES KEEP TO MY WAYS, for a prostitute is a deep pit and a wayward wife is a narrow well.” (Prov.23:26 NIV)
When I was about 18 years old, I was watching TV with a buddy of mine named Doug at his apartment. We were watching some show on HBO when a scene came on involving a naked woman. I’ll never forget that as soon as that scene came on, Doug looked away. It was instinctive. It was instantaneous. All of us need to learn to do that. We should have had the sense to not have been watching that channel to begin with, but the point is that Doug looked away without hesitation. It is going to be virtually impossible to go through life without being confronted with visual images of this sort. However, we need to learn to look away. This includes women on the street, on TV, in magazines and on the Internet. For men, the eyes are the starting point of sexual sin. Job said “I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.” (Job 31:1 NIV) We need to follow Job’s advice and start looking away immediately.
I received a very disturbing e-mail from young sister a year or so ago. In it she shared with me her experiences growing up as a beautiful young women in the body of Christ. She had to endure lurid comments from brothers in Christ. She had to endure being stared at and ogled. She was flirted with and picked up on…sometimes by married men. This would not be acceptable in a public high school and it certainly is not acceptable in the body of Christ. Imagine how this young sister felt being treated this way by those she looked up to in the Lord. Imagine how her father and mother (our brother and sister in Christ) would have felt had they known their daughter was being treated this way by a brother in Christ. Imagine how her husband feels knowing that his bride was objectified by his brothers in Christ. Imagine how the Lord felt when he witnessed such evil.
I am not suggesting this is easy. I would like to take this opportunity to publicly apologize to all the women of the world that I have objectified in my life through comments, looks or actions. It is not something I am proud of, but something I can accept responsibility for and with the Lord’s help, something I can change. Brethren everywhere need to hold each other accountable for the way we honor women in our lives.
We also need to remember the words of Jesus. “Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” (Matt. 5:28) Remember this pattern, men: from the eyes to the heart. It is in the heart that we really get into trouble. Jesus said “if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness.” (Matt. 6:23) What he is telling us, men, is that once we let that evil image into our eyes, it resides in our heart. Once it is there, it stays and festers. Our hearts are changed. Our changed hearts reflect who we are in our conversation, in our actions and in our thought. Jesus said “For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: These are the things which defile a man.” (Matt. 15:19-20) We think we are just admiring a woman like we are a piece of art or a beautiful sunset, but we are only fooling ourselves and it will condemn us in the end.
My advice to my brothers. Stop looking. If it comes into your vision unintentionally, look away. Think of the person, not the face or body which houses the person. Remember, this is either your sister for whom Christ died or your potential sister. This is someone else’s wife, daughter, sister or mother, so treat them as you would want someone to treat your wife, daughter, sister or mother. Honor God by honoring women.
Have a great week!
