Protecting our Children- Part 2
August 22, 2004
Dear Friends,
Last week we began the topic of child sexual abuse. Although this is not a topic that is pleasant to think about, it is important to maintain awareness. Since sending last week’s message, I have become aware of several more incidents that have occurred in the brotherhood.
There is an old saying that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Make it a practice to instill in your children a few ideas that hopefully will lower the likelihood of any problems. Teach your children to be obedient and to respect their elders. Yet, also tell them that if an adult asks them to do something that they think is wrong to come to see you immediately. The rule is to obey your elders. The exception to the rule is if any adult asks you to do something that would not please God. If they don’t know, ask their parents. It is a sound Biblical concept to teach our children that they should obey those in authority as long as it does not conflict with the laws of God.
Be aware if your children are using the Internet. Not only can your child be exposed to pornography on the net, they can be stalked by predators as well. Here are some shocking statistics from www.protectkids.com: More than 20,000 images of child pornography are posted on the Internet every week (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, 10/8/03). One in five children who use computer chatrooms has been approached over the Internet by pedophiles. (Detective Chief Superintendent Keith Akerman, Telegraph.co.uk January 2002 ) Thirteen million youth use Instant Messaging. (Pew Study reported in JAMA, 6/01) Only 25% of youth who received sexual solicitation told a parent. (Online Victimization, NCMEC, June 2000) Twenty-six popular children’s characters, such as Pokemon, My Little Pony and Action Man, revealed thousands of links to porn sites. 30% were hard-core. (Envisional 2000)
There are literally hundreds of tools to help protect your child while on-line. Your Internet Service Provider (ISP) may very likely have some tools for you to block access to adult web sites, monitor your child’s on-line activity and limit access to chat rooms. If you need additional resources, check out http://kids.getnetwise.org.
One method of prevention that we can learn from the mistakes of the Catholic Church is the need to communicate and to address the issue. The Catholic Church would often solve its problem in one locale by shipping the offending priest off to another location. Unfortunately, as we have found out, the offending priest would often commit the same sins in the new location. It is vital for each ecclesia to address a problem with a brother or sister in a Biblical, but decisive manner. Due to the embarrassing and personal nature of the sin in question, it is all too easy to want to cover them up. This is as true for the victim as it is for the perpetrator. However, we must balance the need for discretion and recovery of our brother with the need to stem any further abuse. We could expend gallons of ink on this particular topic, but it is best left to the wisdom of local brethren who know the circumstances and particulars of their situation. We can be confident though that any problem not addressed is likely to reoccur.
One last tip on preventing child sexual abuse is open and consistent communication with your children. We have always told our children that they can tell us anything. If your child does tell you something about unusual or inappropriate activities, believe them. Children, as a rule, do not make up stories like this. A natural reaction to hearing this from your child for the first time is to “freak out” or start grilling them about every possible detail. As hard as it may be, resist this temptation. Your child may be thinking that they somehow brought this on themselves and are guilty. Listen to what they have to say and comfort them. There will be plenty of time to sort through things with the appropriate advice from professionals.
Have a great and safe week!
Kyle
