Loneliness – The Conclusion
October 5, 2003
Dear Friends,
“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” (Gen. 2:18) Following this observation, God created woman and thus the institution of marriage. From this simple chain of events, we could easily draw the conclusion that marriage is the Divine answer to loneliness and since loneliness is “not good” in the eyes of God, everyone should marry. It is the highest ideal for which we should all strive.
If this is true as a blanket statement, it seems odd that the Apostle Paul would suggest to us that,
I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. (1 Cor. 7:7-9)
The Apostle has suggested to us that remaining chaste and single is a higher calling than being married. Doesn’t this fly in the face of what we have read in Genesis? We can’t make that judgment without examining Paul’s reasoning.
So what are Paul’s reasons for remaining single?
1) It is a matter of TIME. He tells us in v. 29 that the time is short. You can sense in Paul that things concerning the Son of God and the Gospel message are incredibly urgent as we are racing forward toward the culmination of human history — the Kingdom of God on earth.
2) It is a matter of PRIORITY. Things of this life, including taking a wife or husband, are wasting precious time and energy that could be devoted to “the Lord’s affairs.” Paul declares:
What I want is for you to be free of concern. An unmarried man concerns himself with the Lord’s affairs, with how to please the Lord; but the married man concerns himself with the world’s affairs, with how to please his wife; and he finds himself split. Likewise the woman who is no longer married or the girl who has never been married concerns herself with the Lord’s affairs, with how to be holy both physically and spiritually; but the married woman concerns herself with the world’s affairs, with how to please her husband. I am telling you this for your own benefit, not to put restrictions on you—I am simply concerned that you live in a proper manner and serve the Lord with undivided devotion. (v. 32-35 – Complete Jewish Bible)
3) It is a matter of WILL. Some people are stronger than others and more ready to endure suffering for the sake of Christ. There is no sin in “doing well” (marrying) and doing better (not marrying). Paul makes the distinction very clearly when he states:
Now if a man thinks he is behaving dishonorably by treating his fiancée this way, and if there is strong sexual desire, so that marriage is what ought to happen; then let him do what he wants—he is not sinning: let them get married. But if a man has firmly made up his mind, being under no compulsion but having complete control over his will, if he has decided within himself to keep his fiancée a virgin, he will be doing well. So the man who marries his fiancée will do well, and the man who doesn’t marry will do better. (v. 36-38 – Complete Jewish Bible)
4) Finally, it is a matter of FEELING THE PRESENCE OF THE LORD. Paul does not deal with it in the 1 Corinthians 7 passage, but he does deal with it elsewhere. We are the bride of Christ. We are to be to Christ as the wife is to the husband. If we feel the real and tangible nature of this relationship, we are never truly alone. Jesus has promised us “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” (Heb. 13:5) The presence of the good shepherd is always with us. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” (Ps. 23:4) Yes, it is true that it is not good for man to be alone. Yet, once we come into the saving name of Jesus Christ, how can we ever again said to be truly alone?
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