Relationships – Part 2
June 29, 2003
Dear Friends,
Most people have one or more friends where the relationship came very easy and very naturally. We shared the same opinions, likes and dislikes. We have the same or similar interests. We have the same or similar goals and outlook on life.
My friend Shawn is like that with me. We are about the same age. We have children about the same age. We even haves wives that look and act alike. Shawn and I never had to work at having a relationship. From our mid-teens we have been like brothers and remain so to this day even though we don’t even live in the same country any longer. When we get together, we pick up effortlessly where we left off.
Having friends like Shawn are a true blessing from God. I would trust him with my life. If he has something to say to me, he doesn’t need to preface it with a long introduction. The relationship is such that he can tell it to me like it is. I know he cares. I know that he has my best interest at heart. My respect for him is so healthy that he doesn’t need to convince me that his opinion matters. It does – no questions asked. When he talks, I listen. He is an incredible resource to me in my spiritual and emotional life.
On the spectrum of relationships, I have very close relationships like my wife and Shawn and then all the way to people who I hardly know. What is important to realize is that each one of these relationships can be improved upon. The better and more spiritual those relationships are, the more those people help me and the more that I can help them.
The flesh tells us to seek for those with whom we can establish quick, easy and convenient friendships. It is not hard to love these people. It comes all too easy. Jesus said that is not good enough to just love your friends. Even the tax collectors loved those that loved them! Jesus said that we have to work on building loving relationships with everyone – even our enemies. The operative word is “work.” The worse the relationship, the more effort it takes. The people we have the least in common with are the ones we have to work the most on.
Look at the relationships that Jesus built. Do you think that Matthew the tax collector was a natural, easy relationship for Jesus? How about Nicodemus? How about Simon the Zealot? How about Mary Magdalene? How about you or me for that matter? Probably none of these people were an easy fit for Jesus to build a relationship. Yet, Jesus took the time and effort to build a relationship with each one of these and had a profound effect on them for good. We can dismiss this as an unduplicatable effort on the part of the Son of God, but if we do so we miss the point. It may be that Jesus could build relationships easily or even perfectly while we cannot. Just because it will take a lot more effort and we will see poorer results, we should not dismiss the example as one not to follow. For some people, the relationship they establish with us — you and me — is a matter of life and death.
Some may never know the Gospel because they did not have a relationship with us. Some may fall away from salvation because they never had a relationship with us or even worse, a sour one. One thing is certain, our lives will be poorer and our spirits darkened by lack of these relationships.
These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:11-13)
Love one another. (John 15:17)
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