Weakening the Weak
June 2, 2002
Dear Friends,
In the best-selling book, The Millionaire Next Door : The Surprising Secrets of America’s Wealthy by Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko, there is a chapter where they talk about strengthening the strong and weakening the weak. As an example, they cite a situation where an affluent parent subsidizes the purchase of a home for a child who is unable to purchase a nice home because of their spendthrift lifestyle. The child has achieved neither the income nor the saving habits to live in such a neighborhood and so requires the parent’s “help.” It is no help at all, as pointed out by the authors, but is instead “weakening the weak.” The child, living in a more affluent neighborhood than they ought, it put in a situation where their consumptive lifestyle is made worse by trying to keep up with their new, more affluent neighbors.
How many times do we see this effect of weakening the weak?
In 2 Samuel 13 we have the story of Amnon and Tamar. Amnon has a weakness. He as fallen in love with his half-sister, Tamar. Leviticus 18:9, clearly spells out his dilemma. “Do not have sexual relations with your sister, either your father’s daughter or your mother’s daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere.” (NIV) It appears that Amnon has enough sense not to act on his inappropriate affection until his friend and relative Jonadab appears on the scene. At Jonadab’s urging, Amnon plans and then executes his sister’s rape.
What is even more interesting is that when King David hears about this terrible act perpetrated upon his daughter by his son, it records he was very angry but no action was taken on his part. It has been suggested that David, remembering his own indiscretions with Bathsheba, did not feel he was in any position to take a hard line on the sexual code of the Law of Moses. Whatever the case, two years later, as Absalom plot his sister’s revenge, Amnon appears to be carrying on “business as usual.”
The point is that Amnon was weak. His friend, Jonadab, should have been the one to strengthen him and tell him to put these wicked thoughts behind him. Instead, Jonadab further weakens his friend by hatching this plot to rape Tamar. Amnon is further weakened by his own father. David takes no apparent action resulting in the murder of his son and, eventually, the rebellion of his other son, Absalom.
David became in modern psychological parlance an enabler. An enabler, according to the Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary is “one that enables another to achieve an end; especially: one who enables another to persist in self-destructive behavior by providing excuses or by helping that individual avoid the consequences of such behavior.” Jonadab, on the other hand, was worse than an enabler, he was a cohort in crime.
We too often do this very thing to our family and friends without realizing it. Suppose that you have a friend that watches too much TV for their own good. When it comes time to get them a gift, what do we purchase them? A DVD player or a new video tape? Suppose we have a friend that is overweight, are they the first one we grab when we want to run grab some fast food? How about that sports fanatic we know. Who do we call when we have that extra ticket for the game? How about that shopaholic or spendthrift? Who do we call when we want to go shopping?
Next week, Lord willing, we will examine this topic further.
Have a great week!
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